Do you find it challenging to be Unapologetically Yourself? Are you living your dream or someone else’s dream? Do you feel like you have to hide a part of yourself in order to get along? The phrase “Be Yourself” has been said so often that it is often a cliché. Yet all of us have struggled to live up to this idea.
Some of this is part of our evolution as human beings—we evolved because of our social nature and interdependence. Over ten thousand years ago, not being accepted by the tribe and being kicked out often literally meant death. Some anthropologists suggest that this has had a profound effect on our ability to disagree with others and stand out from the crowd.
Partially as a result of this, many of us have found ourselves living other people’s dreams rather than our own. We might be afraid to express how we feel due to fear of reprisals
Yet, why is it other people’s business what you choose for your lifestyle, beliefs, gender expression, sexuality, the clothes you wear, and other decisions you make? Certainly, a minimal amount of conformity is necessary to get along and function with other people. But other people’s expectations of conformity often far exceed what is necessary in order for people to mutually thrive and prosper.
I have spent almost all of my life navigating between other people’s expectations and my own truth. For example, I went through a legal name change some years ago in an effort to align my name with my image of my true self. To my amazement, that decision had more positive and profound effects on my life than I would have imagined. I have been growing my hair out for several years despite the common misperception that long hair on men is not appropriate or professional.
I can help you navigate what might be a tricky path to 1) identify what it means to be yourself, and 2) put the act of being yourself into practice. We can discuss what gets in the way of you being yourself. Perhaps those obstacles include trauma of influence from people with who have had profound power and influence in your life. We can look at those obstacles and find ways to work around or overcome them.